


get off my shoulder

by martiniblue



Category: ITZY (Band)
Genre: Complete, F/F, One Shot, basically just stupid jokes, chaeryeong is only mentioned, there's some swearing, zero depth, zero feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 16:15:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20708912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/martiniblue/pseuds/martiniblue
Summary: yeji just wants to strike up a conversation with her beautiful new coworker but with ryujin and yuna constantly bickering in her ears, how can she think for herself?where: yuna is the angel on her shoulder and ryujin is the devil on her shoulder.





	get off my shoulder

**Author's Note:**

> a short fic that i thought was going to be more focused on yejisu but it ended up being mostly 2shin.  
don't expect too much from this fic, 90% of it is just lame jokes. this might be the most dialogue i've ever written (which isn't a good thing cause i suck at writing dialogue) but i hope you enjoy reading it :D

  
  
  
  
  


“Ow! Get the fuck off my wings!” 

“Okay jeez! I know you’re a devil but do you have to be so rude?” 

“I’m sorry, may you _ kindly _ get the fuck off my wings _ pretty please with cherries on top _.” 

“Ugh, I can’t believe we got assigned to the same human!” 

  
  
  


Yeji rubbed the remainders of her bizarre dream from her eyes and tried to shake off the buzzing feeling in her brain as the colour of the start of the day poured through the cracks in the blind. 

  
  


“She’s waking up!” 

“Did you bring ear plugs?” 

“Shit, I forgot.” 

“Well you better brace yourself or you’ll go deaf.” 

“Aren’t you gonna share?”

“And sacrifice an ear? No thanks.” 

“Aren’t you an angel? You’re supposed to be nice!” 

“What was that? Can’t hear you over these AngelPods!” 

That was odd. Was Yeji having a dream within a dream? She sat up, staring blankly at the wall before stretching out her arms above her head and letting out a loud yawn. 

“Girlie sounds like a sea lion.” 

“Is it bad that I kinda agree?” 

“Welcome to the dark side.”

Yeji looked down at her hands. She’s heard that if you see six fingers on each hand, it means you’re still dreaming. But she still had her ten fingers. She pinched her arm for good measure. Nada. 

So was she hearing things now? Or was her apartment haunted? She shuddered at the thought of ghosts and immediately began to regret watching that horror movie with Chaeryeong. Her eyes darted around the room before she remembered that ghosts were supposed to be invisible. She hastily draped her blanket over her shoulders and put her index fingers together to form a cross. She waved her cross around her, hoping to fend off the ghosts. 

“What the fuck is she doing?” 

“I’m not sure, I haven’t read about this sort of reaction from humans before.” 

Yeji pulled the blanket over her head. “What is happening to me?” she groaned.

“This has to be a record, it never takes this long to get noticed.” 

Yeji knew what she was about to say would be the dumbest thing ever but it was the only thing her last braincell could come up with. Only dumbasses ask, “hello?” as if the serial killer or whoever would reply with, “oh hey! I’ve just walked past your kitchen. Oh and by the way, I grabbed a knife, just so you know.” Yeji was a dumbass. 

“Hello?” she peeked from under her blanket. 

“You’re facing the wrong way, we’re over here.” 

“Well fuck, if this is how it ends for me, I’ve lived a sad life,” Yeji frowned at that thought. She could feel her pulse beating in her ears. 

She turned around at a snail’s pace but all she saw was her bed header lined up against the wall. 

“Did you slow down time again?”

“No, she’s just a sloth.” 

“Hey, we’re down here!” 

Yeji’s eyes flicked down to her pillow, where two minute figures about the size of her thumb were waving frantically at her. She blinked, barely moving a muscle in her face. 

“Oh yay, she’s taking it better than I thou-”

“Holy fucking shit!” Yeji’s scream was shrill and deafening. 

“Well, ‘holy’ was correct at least.” 

“Have you gone deaf?” 

“No, are you disappointed?” 

“A little.” 

Yeji jumped back faster than she could finish her scream but her leg got caught in her blanket, sending her crashing onto the floor. 

“This girl’s a mess, I see why we were sent here now.” 

Yeji kicked off the blanket, freeing herself from the tangle and scrambled towards the bathroom, promptly slamming the door behind her. 

She pressed her hands against the edge of the basin, shoulders heaving. 

“You’re breathing a little too heavily, you good?” 

“How did you get in here?!” Yeji screeched. She swiftly swiped the hairdryer off the shelf (deep down, she thanked her past-self for being forgetful and not unplugging it from the powerpoint) and pointed it at the two little… people? Beings? Figments of her imagination?? She flicked the switch on her weapon of choice, hoping the airflow would feel like a strong gust of wind to them and blow them the fuck away. 

“Girl, what the fuck?! Bitch, I swear if my wings break, it’s on sight!” 

“Leave me alone!” Yeji yelled. 

“Yuna, fucking do something!” 

“Quit crying and hold my hand!” 

Yeji tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows. They were gone. Just like that. She kept the hairdryer switched on as she looked warily around the bathroom. But there was nothing. Maybe they really were just her imagination. She lifted her hand to her forehead but it didn’t seem like she had a temperature. Call her paranoid but she waved the hairdryer around with one hand while the other brushed her teeth. And that was how she got ready for work. Her usual 30-minute routine turned out to be over an hour (it was a lot harder to do things with one hand than she thought). She would have to catch a taxi to work instead of the bus to keep her punctual attendance record. 

“Hey you actually look pretty!” 

“What do you mean _ actually _? That’s so rude, Ryujin!” 

Yeji’s eyes almost popped out their sockets when she caught her reflection in the full-length, standing mirror just outside her bathroom. The two figures were standing on both of her shoulders. 

“Crap,” she thought, “The hairdryer’s in the bathroom.” 

“Get off my shoulders!” Yeji screamed as she tried to flick Ryujin but her efforts were futile. It was like time slowed down to allow Ryujin to precisely dodge all of Yeji’s attempts.

“Why are you only flicking me and not her?” Ryujin grumbled, stomping on Yeji’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know! What’s happening to me? How am I supposed to go to work with you two here?” Yeji whined. 

“Don’t worry, no one can see us except you.” 

“Why? Wait, did I get superpowers overnight?” 

“Well, let’s not get ahead of oursel-”

“What the fuck! This is the dumbest superpower ever! Why didn’t I get something cooler and more useful like teleportation?” Yeji complained, “I could use a few extra minutes of sleep.” 

“You really could,” Ryujin sassed, “You look horrible.” 

“Wait,” Yeji backtracked, “You just said I look pretty though.” 

“Well, that was before you basically called me useless.” 

“Hate to break it to you honey but you don’t have superpowers,” Yuna smiled as sweetly as she could (That was Rule #1209: Always smile when you have to tell bad news). “We’re here to help you.” 

“Help me?” Yeji scoffed in disbelief, “You’re making me late for work! How’s that helping me?” 

“Don’t worry, we can get you to work quickly! How do you feel about flying?” Ryujin smirked. 

“Don’t lie to her! Sorry for making you late, Yeji. We’ll make it up to you,” Yuna promised. 

“Woah woah woah,” Yeji flapped her arms strangely. 

“Here she goes again.” 

“How do you know my name?” Yeji was creeped out. 

“Oh it’s written on the assignment,” Yuna explained, “Don’t worry, we know all about your situation so there’s no need to waste time. Let’s catch that taxi!” 

“What assignment? What situation?” Yeji fired the questions in quick succession, “And we’re not catching the taxi together!” 

“Oh thank god, I don’t know if I can handle being cooped up in a musty smelling moving metal box on wheels for more than a second,” Ryujin cringed at the thought. “We’ll just teleport to you when you get to work.” 

“How will you even know when I get to work?” 

“How does Superman know where all the villains are lurking?” 

“Touché.” 

“It’s in my rubystream,” Ryujin winked. 

“Your what?” 

“She means blood,” Yuna rolled her eyes at Ryujin’s antics, “It’s in her _ blood _.” 

“I seriously hope this isn’t just my imagination ‘cause then that would mean I’m really messed up in the head,” Yeji groaned. 

“I swear this human is ruder than I am,” Ryujin huffed, crossing her arms. 

“I’ll be nicer if you just stay here until I get back,” Yeji negotiated. 

“No can do,” Ryujin didn’t give in, “We have orders from the High Above.” 

“I’m not gonna even ask what that means,” Yeji mumbled as she pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“You should get going if you wanna get to work on time,” Yuna advised, “We’ll meet you there!” 

“Why do you have to go to work with me?” 

“Because,” Yuna answered, “Our mission is there.” 

“What mission?” 

“Mission: Get Yeji a girlfriend,” Ryujin wiggled her eyebrows as her lips stretched into a smug grin. 

“Oh my god! Did you hear my prayers?” Yeji exclaimed, her hands clasped over her mouth. 

“_ God, please help me talk to Lia _,” Ryujin mimicked Yeji’s plea from two nights ago. “Sorry, we’re not God herself but we’re the next best thing!” 

“Eww, don’t talk like that, I don’t sound like that at all!” Yeji’s face contorted in disgust. 

“You do,” Ryujin rolled her eyes (any further back and she might’ve lost her pupils), “But Lia’s kinda pretty so I totally understand.” 

“Okay! That’s enough!” Yuna clapped her hands, “Go to work Yeji.”

  
  


…

  
  


Yeji fingertips hovered over the keyboard, her eyes looking everywhere but the monitor. She knew Ryujin and Yuna would show up now that she was at work - it was only a matter of _ when _. And as much as she hated having them around, she hoped it was soon because the feeling of being on edge was eating away at her insides. 

“Surprise bitch, did you miss me?” 

Yeji jumped in her seat and turned her head, just so she could give Ryujin the stink eye. 

“Ugh, don’t do that, I can see your double chin and it ain’t pretty.” 

“Shut up,” Yeji hissed. 

“Try not to talk to us too much,” Yuna warned, “It’ll make the other humans think you’re crazy since they can’t see us.” 

Yeji nodded and typed up a response. 

“Can you like, make the font bigger? I can’t see shit.” 

“Then fly close to it,” Yeji muttered under her breath. 

“Fair but your shoulder’s so comfortable.” 

When Yeji refused to make the font any larger than size 6, Ryujin reluctantly took off to get closer to the screen, not before pinching Yeji’s ear first. 

“Ow!” 

“Hey uh, are you okay?” 

Yeji whipped her head around. 

“Oho, isn’t that Lia?” Ryujin whistled as she curled her fingers to form binoculars, not that Yeji could see what she was doing. 

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” Yeji stuttered. She cleared her throat before continuing, “I just um hit my earring? Just pierced my ears so it’s kinda sensitive.” 

Yuna clapped quietly. “Good job Yeji, you only stuttered once and a half.” 

“Oh I know that feeling,” Lia empathised with a slight pout. “By the way, I don’t think I’ve introduced myself to you yet. I’m Lia.” 

Yeji stood up to shake Lia’s extended hand. “Yeji.” 

“Can you like, relax your heart a bit? It feels like I’m standing in the middle of an earthquake.”

“Not now Ryujin!” Yuna called out from Yeji’s other shoulder. 

“Well, I’m supposed to get those boxes over there and bring them to the marketing department so I’ll talk to you some other time?” 

“Yeah sure,” Yeji gave her a weak smile, “Some other time…” 

“Ugh! Don’t just let her leave like that!” Ryujin’s frustration was skyrocketing. “Help her with the boxes, you useless cow!” 

“Shut-” Yeji quickly realised her mistake and tried to play it off with a cough but Lia already heard. 

“Sorry?” Lia turned her whole body, arms full of boxes. Her tiny frame was hidden and all Yeji could see was Lia’s head and her legs. 

“Just say _ hey, you need any help with that? _” Yuna suggested. 

“Ugh, that’s so boring, you don’t want her to coworkerzone you,” Ryujin rolled her eyes, “Just take it from her and say _ I got you _ and then shoot her a wink. Don’t let them cat eyes go to waste, Yeji.” 

“I got help,” Yeji tried to wink as well but unfortunately, it looked more like an eye twitch. 

“You’re hopeless,” Ryujin sighed heavily. 

“I-I mean, I-I’ll help you,” Yeji spluttered, her cheeks tinged pink. 

“Oh no, it’s okay! I don’t want to bother you.” 

“It’s not a bother!” Yeji took the weight from Lia and smiled, as if she wasn’t struggling. 

“Thank you,” Lia spoke quietly, squeezing her hands together. 

“Her cheeks are red!” Yuna gasped excitedly, “I read that it means the human is embarrassed or attracted to someone!” 

“Aye! You’re on your way to honeymoon avenue!” Ryujin danced on Yeji’s shoulder while pumping her fists. 

“Anytime,” Yeji used the boost of confidence from her new little friends and managed to flash a charming smile (she noted that she would never try to wink again… maybe only if she was home alone, she could practice). 

The pair dawdled towards the marketing department and as much as the muscles in Yeji’s arms felt strained, she didn’t want to pick up the pace. 

...

“-and I ended up coming back here after that but I kinda miss being there,” Lia continued to talk about her adventures while studying abroad. It was just so easy to talk to Yeji. The way the older girl looked at her like she was genuinely interested in everything Lia was saying. “Oh god, I’ve been rambling. I’m so sorry, we’re already here and I haven’t even given you a chance to say anything.” 

“You should’ve just kissed her to shut her up,” Ryujin sighed, “Missed opportunity, my dude.” 

“No, Ryu’s joking. Just tell her it’s okay and ask her to eat lunch with you later so you can talk to her more,” Yuna debated. 

“Ki- it’s okay!” Yeji recovered from her slip-up, “I like listening to you. I’ll forgive you if you eat lunch with me?” 

“I’d love to!” Lia grinned (and Yeji decided that Lia’s eyesmile was the most beautiful thing she had the honour of seeing in her life), “But only if you let me buy.” 

“Oh bitch! That’s so fucking cheesy but at least she’s flirting back!” Ryujin screamed as she jumped up and down on Yeji’s shoulder. “Let’s go Yeddong! Make her the yee to your haw!” 

“Will I get to buy you lunch next time?” 

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Lia nudged her playfully. 

“Hey that’s what I say!” Ryujin chimed in, “I like this human.” 

“I like her too,” Yuna added. 

Although her arms were aching, Yeji suppressed the pain and smiled - a broad, unconstrained, exuberant smile. Despite their rocky start, she felt an odd wave of satisfaction wash over her when the duo expressed their fondness for Lia. She wished they were real people… it would be kind of nice to have friends like them, she supposed. 

Lia opened the door to the storage room for Yeji. 

“I think it’s fine to leave them anywhere, Chaeryeong didn’t really give me clear instructions,” Lia told her. 

“Chaeryeong?” Yeji thought, “Wait, Chaeryeong sent Lia to my side of the shared office? I guess I owe her lunch as well.” 

The storage room reminded Yeji of the attic of her childhood home - battered boxes thrown and shoved anywhere they could be, and just… squashy. 

She cleared some space, using her feet to push other boxes aside and set down the stack she was carrying. 

“Oh my god, your arms!” Lia frowned as she rubbed the reddened creases that the boxes left on Yeji’s forearms, in an attempt to soothe them. “I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry?” Yeji chuckled, “It’s fine.” 

She removed Lia’s hands from her arms and held them with her own. She was slightly surprised at how soft and delicate they were but what was she expecting? Calloused, rough hands from someone who looks like royalty? Lia’s hands were much smaller than hers but they completed the space left in Yeji’s perfectly. 

“I don’t know,” Lia replied, barely above a whisper. She looked up at Yeji expectantly, their faces were only inches apart. 

“Now kiss!” 

“Oh my god, shut up!” Yeji exasperated, instantly retracting all the thoughts she had and the wishes she made about Ryujin and Yuna being real people. 

“Excuse me?” Lia stepped back and pulled back her hand. 

“I’m so sorry!” Yeji quickly apologised, “That wasn’t directed at you!” 

“She can’t see us,” Ryujin told her, “I thought we told you this already.” 

“There’s no one else here?” Lia’s voice was laced with uncertainty. 

“I’m sorry, I meant the fire alarm. It’s going off.” 

Yeji didn’t really know why she even bothered to make up these lame excuses when it was really obvious that Lia had already formed some opinion of her - a judgement. Her hopes of finally making progress with someone she’s exerted so much energy on just trying to muster up the courage to speak to, was shattered within a matter of seconds. It wasn’t like she could go back to square one and try again. She was pushed back to square zero, a space reserved for those who could no longer make a move. 

“I don’t hear it,” Lia’s bottom lip trembled. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable…” Her voice trailed off, leaving her feelings of dejection hanging in the air between them. 

“Ryujin, you owe it to her to set off the fire alarm now,” Yuna flew off Yeji’s shoulder, “Let’s go.” 

“Fine,” Ryujin muttered. 

“I just… have really sensitive ears,” Yeji tried to salvage but the moment was lost. “You didn’t make me uncomfortable at all, I promise.” 

“You don’t have to lie to me,” Lia took another step back, “I just thought…”

She paused. “Oh wait, I kinda hear it now.” 

“I’m so sorry for doubting you,” she quickly added, “We should probably… you know... evacuate from the building.” 

She started to turn towards the door but Yeji’s hand gripped her arm and pulled her back into a kiss. It was short but sweet, and Yeji wouldn’t have her first kiss any other way. 

“Okay, now we can go,” Yeji beamed. 

“Our baby is all grown up,” Yuna dramatically wiped her cheek (even though, it was drier than the Sahara desert). “I wish she would remember us,” she sighed glumly as she and Ryujin watched their retreating figures from a distance. “She’s my favourite human.” 

“I don’t mind, as long as I’ll always remember her,” Ryujin smiled. 

“Look at you, acting all undevilish for once.” 

Ryujin hurriedly covered Yuna’s mouth. “Don’t say that! What if someone hears you and reports me to the High Above? I’d lose my job!” 

“You know, I take back what I said earlier,” Yuna admitted, removing Ryujin’s hand from her mouth. “I’m glad we got assigned to Yeji.” 

“Together,” she hesitantly added. 

“Me too. Low key though, you’re my favourite angel. But if anyone asks, I’m gonna deny it!” 

“Sorry, what was that?” Yuna pulled out her wand from her pocket. 

“No!” 

“Oh come on, please!” Yuna pouted, “_ THE _ Shin Ryujin just said I’m her favourite angel, I _ need _to record this.” She tapped her wand, prompting the end of it to glow. 

Yuna nudged her head towards her wand with her signature, broad smile spread across her face. 

“Ugh, fine,” Ryujin surrendered to Yuna’s radiance and took a deep breath before continuing. “Yuna, will you be the yee to my haw?” 

“How do I delete recordings from this?” Yuna shook her wand (but that didn’t work). 

“I’m kidding!” Ryujin laughed, “Yuna is my favourite being in this universe.” 

“Can you say that one more time? I think it stopped recording after I shook it.” 

“You’ll just have to remember it in your heart then.”

･◡･


End file.
